Speed Dating vs Job Interview: Oddly Similar?

We've all heard of speed dating. Some of us may have even participated in an event or two while searching for a spouse.  

Speed dating is a formalized matchmaking process developed by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo as a way to help Jewish singles meet and marry.  It is a convenient way to meet a large number of potential mates in a short amount of time.  Registration is required and sometimes a fee depending on the sponsoring venue.  Men and women rotate between tables-for-two during a series of short "dates" lasting anywhere from three to eight minutes.  At the end of the timed "date" a bell rings and the participants move to the next table.  At the end of the event participates submit to the organizers a list of lucky daters they would like to share their contact information with.  If a match exists contact information is forwarded to each party. The rest is up to fate!

So how can it be possible that a job interview can ever be similar to speed dating?

Let's examine the odd similarities that exist.

Time.  Speed dating occurs in a defined allotment of time in a preplanned venue.  Three to eight minutes is not a lot of time to have potential mates get to know you and appreciate your unique qualities.  A job interview also occurs within a set amount of time in a preplanned venue.  You only get one shot to present and sell yourself in the best light to the interviewer.  Using each minute to the best of your ability is of the utmost importance.

Delayed gratification.  Waiting for an answer, hopefully a 'yes' requires patience.  Speed daters have to wait usually a day or two to find out if there has been a match receiving the answer by either an email or logging onto a particular website.  An answer from a job interview can take days to weeks.  Patience is a must.

Apparel.  What you wear to both the job interview as well as the speed dating event should be seriously considered.  This is the first impression and will be remembered.  Your interview coach has advised you to research the culture of the corporate position you are applying for and then dress one level above that in a more conservative manner. Leave that red-sequined, body con mini dress with the generous helping of cleavage in the closet for your next speed dating event.  Although apparel is important in both instances, one is for a job and the other is for a mate!

The table.  A type of furniture barrier, either a conference table, desk or a table-for-two will be placed between the participants of both the job interview and speed dating.  This helps define the personal space boundary for each person. This boundary is important to help allay the nervousness that may be present and provides the invisible "wall" that some may choose to hide their vulnerabilities behind.

Topics.  The topics of conversation for both the job interview and speed dating are crucial to success.  In each instance remember that "you had them at hello" so keep their attention with proper topics.  Speed daters really don't want to hear about your ex-spouse, religion, politics or your unique arrest record.  In fact, a 2006 study in Edinburgh, Scotland found that speed dating dialogue concerning travel resulted in more matches than say a dialogue about films.  It is illegal for the job interviewer to ask you about your family or lifestyle. If you choose to speak about these topics, well, that is your choice.  It is preferable to take your interview coach's advice and speak with specificity regarding your past job's actions and results. Stay on topic with the position you are applying for.   If you bore the interviewer, the interview won't last long.  

Smiles and pheromones.  An appropriate smile is a must for both situations.  Careful not to over smile or to be frozen-faced especially if asked difficult questions. The proper affect exhibits your authenticity to a potential mate or boss.  Speed dating deals with finding a mate, so different pheromones come into play and some companies even give tips to these daters as to what scents to wear to the event to elevate the pheromones.  The only pheromones you need to worry about in a job interview is to come to the meeting with the scent of confidence, accomplishment and success!

Granted, this is a lighthearted look at an albeit odd analogy between speed dating and the job interview.  Speed dating is a gamble and so is a job interview.  If you find that love match or you land the job you so desired you still may not know what you are getting into.  You prepared for the interview and received the best coaching possible.  You may have read everything written about your future organization but until you actually work for that company and acclimate into its culture you can't possibly see the ins and outs of it’s management styles and personnel difficulties.  The same goes for your new boss.  Remember he is also putting his best foot forward during the interviews.  He needs to fill the position to continue with optimum productivity on his team.  

Preparing for both the speed dating event and the job interview takes preparation, practice and knowing what you want to get out of the process.  Here's to hoping you'll be kissing the promised prince and not the ugly, wart-covered toad!