Minimizing Language Undermines Communication. Avoid It!

We are often reminded that our words count. My mom (and maybe yours) would tell me, “Be careful what you say!” – especially when I was sounding off about the unfairness of some new rule she had enforced. I was often reminded that once spoken, words cannot be taken back. They leave an indelible impression in the mind of the listener.

Language today is influenced by many factors, such as social trends, technology-based communication, and political speech along with words made popular by celebrities. It is important to remember just as mom told us, we need to be clear in our speech, especially in a work setting or a job interview.

Today, minimizing language is quite prevalent. Minimizing language includes words or phrases that weaken a speaker’s message. It entails the use of marginalizing and passive phrases like “actually”, “I’m sorry”, or “just”. Used inappropriately, these word qualifiers lessen the meaning of your message rather than enhance it.

The use of minimizing language causes a loss of credibility with the speaker. It undermines the impact of their message, calling into question their qualifications. The speaker is taken less seriously, appears less confident, and their message is watered down. The use of these qualifiers is self-diminishing and fails to command the power that the speaker intends.

The list of minimizing language is infinite. Let’s examine a few of my favorites:

The Use of Upspeak

Upspeak is a way of speaking that ends every sentence in the form of a question. Both men and women do this, but it is more prevalent among women, especially younger women. This is an unfortunate, learned habit. This pattern of speech tends to come across as juvenile and insincere. If you are attempting to impart factual information in statement form, then do not end the statement with a question. The listener cannot be sure that your information is trustworthy when your statements are verbally punctuated with a question mark. Can it be believed? I’ve had to work with many clients to end this habit. All it takes is constant awareness and practice. This speech pattern should not be used in a job interview. Statements are definitive, so end your sentences like one. Period!

“Just”

This little word is really a 4 letter word! Commonly thrown into a sentence, adding no valuable impact, it decreases the meaning of what is being said. Using this qualifier sounds like you may not want to do something (“I’ll just do it”) or perhaps apologetic for something you are saying, (“It’s just that....”). It’s a filler word taking up space and not helping the speaker’s cause.

“Don’t you think?”

This phrase is most often thrown in at the end of a sentence. “We should change this office protocol, don’t you think?” Is the speaker not confident about what is being said or asked? Is it a request for approval or reassurance? Depending on the conditions and tone of the speaker, it can be perceived as threatening. Placed at the beginning of the sentence, it can be taken as condescending to the listener, even putting the listener on the defensive. If you use this in the workplace, watch your vocal tone when using it and leave it out of the job interview.

“But”

How many times have we heard the saying, “When the word but is used in a sentence, every word before the but is meaningless.” The only words that matter come after the word but. This word negates your position, undermining what is truly being said.  Should the listener believe the beginning or the ending of the sentence? It’s confusing. It sounds like the speaker is “riding the fence”, not wanting to commit one way or another. Another variation of this is “You’re the expert, but...” But what!? It can be very condescending, demeaning to the listener, putting them on the defensive. Tread lightly here.

“I’m sorry”

So many people say this! It’s a reflex, second nature to many who use unnecessary apologies in common everyday speech. Persons who say this constantly seem like a beaten puppy apologizing for yapping too much. Use of this phrase in the job interview is unnecessary. It’s as if you’re implying your words are not worthy of the hiring manager’s time. What you have to say is important, so say it without apology! (Now, if there has been wrong done to another, then of course, apologize.)

“Actually”

This is a popular minimizing word. The word refers to the truth or facts of a situation. If a speaker constantly uses this word, are they hinting that when they don’t say “actually”, their words are not the truth or facts of a situation? It’s not needed to get the point across. Author Tara Mohr makes an interesting comment regarding the repeated use of this word. “Actually communicates a sense of surprise that you have something to say.” You have a lot to say, so don’t cause the hiring manager to end up counting how many times you use this word during the interview. Trust me, some do and will!

“I’ll try”

I have a friend who told me that when he hears an employee say “I’ll try”, he takes it to mean, “they won’t”. A wonderful site that studies words and word meanings, Pegasusnlp.com writes, “You can try or you can do”. The phrase “I’ll try” is a noncommittal response, a way to get out of something. Pegasusnlp.com also writes, “We only use the word try when we expect or assume failure!” We never want a hiring manager to doubt our ability to do the job, so omit “I’ll try” from any job interview or even a job evaluation.

We all have our favorite minimizing phrase or word that we navigate towards. Like a favorite pair of comfy pants! (My minimizing word happens to be the word “literally”). With practice, we can stop the constant use of these nagging, nonessential words or phrases. Try listening to your co-workers, recognizing the minimizing words they repeatedly use. This will make you more aware of it. Hearing how this sounds in others helps you to end your own bad habit. Begin considering what you will say before you say it, using fewer words to say exactly what you mean. Limiting your word choice reduces the extraneous addition of unnecessary words. When you are texting or emailing, reread your writing, omitting the diminishing phrases and words. Also, make a habit of analyzing the correspondence you receive, searching for these words. Being more fully aware is the key to breaking the habit!

Females are more sensitive, better communicators who catch nuances and recognize body language quickly. Women use speech that evokes emotion and as humans, we naturally gravitate toward emotion. So it is ironic that women use minimizing language far more than men do as evidenced by the internet’s pages of articles regarding this topic. It is an unconscious habit, perhaps utilized because they are insecure about sounding too aggressive, too bossy, or even arrogant. Tara Mohr who writes to assist women with their language notes, “the research shows that when men use these speech habits, it does not impact how authoritatively they come across. For women, these habits do have a negative consequence in terms of how we are perceived.”

Using minimizing words and phrases can stereotype women and in 2019, women want no part of this! Saying “I’m sorry” or “I just” along with other marginalizing phrases causes a lack of credibility. Why conjure up an ingrained but subconscious bias in someone when you don’t have to? Simply look people in the eyes and speak your mind without devaluing your words and weakening your message.

Proper language assists in building trust and gaining respect from others. It is essential to employ confident language that translates intent and emotion. Words are powerful and should be chosen to robustly relay exactly what is meant. The repeated use of minimizing words or phrases resounds in the listener’s mind and sticks with them. This is certainly not the impression you want to leave with a prospective employer.

In a job interview, you have something valuable to say about your experience and qualifications. Don’t devalue your talents and diminish yourself with minimizing language. Speak with fierce, powerful words. You are not minimal, so don’t minimize yourself with this type of speech!

I offer a free ½ hour introductory job interview coaching session. Contact me today to prepare for your tomorrow!